When I was a young teenager, I remember my dad sitting me down to have a conversation about dating and marriage. He explained that he was praying for me as I was about to embark on my dating journey, and that he and my mother were praying for my physical and emotional well-being during a time in my life that could be rather challenging.
He also shared that they were praying for my future husband...that my life partner would be someone that I connected with phyiscally, emotionally, intellectually, and spirtually. As I dated throughout my teenage and early college years, if a relationship seemed to be getting serious, he would sit down with the yourng man and explain his fatherly expectations:
"If you're going to be in a serious relationship with my daughter and potentially marry her, my expectation is that your relationship supports each other physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually."
He would go on to explain that if one of these four areas is out-of-balance, that it would inevitably lead to problems in the relationship. I found that to be 100% true as I navigated the rocky course of relationships that led to meeting and marrying my husband of now 14 years.
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| My husband, Hamid & I, at the Baha'i Gardens in Haifa, Israel in April of 2019 |
Although I didn't know as an early teenager what exactly I wanted or needed in a life partner, through this conversation, my dad helped me to visualize the cornerstone attributes that are needed to sustain a healthy relationship. My marriage is far from perfect and my husband and I have shared many struggles over the years, but I feel safe and secure in my relationship knowing that these four cornerstones have given us a strong foundation as we endure the trials and tribulations that most definitely come with the committment to "do life" together.
To my surprise, I came across these same four cornerstone attributes while reading and studying Glenn Singleton's book Courageous Conversations About Race: A Field Guide for Achieving Equity in Schools. On p. 234-236 of his book, Glenn invites readers to visualize a school that is truly equitable. He affirms that, in schools that are truly equitable,
"children feel safe and secure...understanding that their physical, emotional, intellectual, and spirtual safety [are] at heart," (p. 234).
I would invite you to pick up a copy of Glenn's book and engage with a small group of colleagues in a book study around
Courageous Conversations. But before you all begin reading, turn to page 234 and read the section titled "A Vision of Equity". In a couple of short pages, Glenn powerfully captures what a school experience could be for all our students if we all shared the same vision of equity. Here are some highlights from p. 234-236:
- Environment: clean, well-resourced, inviting (warm & welcoming), where all are treated with respect and dignity in classrooms that are proportionally represented
- Educators: excited, capaple, steadfast teachers who, through collaboration blended with a high level of autonomy, expose students to rigorous, common viable core curriculum that is reflective of the diversity of the students; teachers push students to excel with high expectations and appropriate supports
- Students: "know that the teacher's aim is to promote their mastery of subject matter" &"believe they will recieve every tool they need to succeed beyond the classroom,"
- Leadership: driven by the needs of the teachers and students through collaboration and the encouragement of professional growth and development; present on campus "addressing school-related problems quickly, efficiently, and completely,"; leads the effort to connect with the community
- Community: reciprocal partnership between the school and community in which families are "invited, encourged, and expected" to be involved; "Families know that their voice matters...feel ownership of the school, and they are affirmed as a vital part of student success."
My short, paraphrased list doesn't nearly encompass all the greatness of Glenn's vision for equity, but I'm hoping that it peaks your interest enough to pick up this book!
Some may say that his vision is "idyllic", but I believe that his vision is realistic and achieveable if we put the work in to make it happen. Just like a marriage relationship, it will take work. It must start with a vision of equity that all stakeholders can plainly see. If we can visualize the cornerstones of a truly equitable school system, we can work towards making that vision a reality. We can build a foundation of equity in our public schools where all our students can thrive.
Reflective question: How can WE foster a school environment in which our students truly understand that the school has their physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual safety at heart?
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